Rest Day

•April 14, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Originally posted on Screechingsoul:


Possessed by the energetic song, she abandoned the vacuum and found herself leaping through the air while singing when the music suddenly stopped. So stunned, that her bellowing tune transformed to a pitiful yowl. Her graceful limbs were again her own. She caught the vacuum cord with her left foot and tumbled down to the floor.

“Oh my— Rena-chan, are you okay?!” Rena heard a familiar girl’s voice and saw Jurina ran to her. She was too shocked to respond.

Jurina was there, wrapping Rena in her arms and pulling the older Matsui to her feet. Jurina’s deep dark brown eyes quickly scanned Rena’s body for injury, and as soon as they found none, she fell into a fit of laughter. Immediately, Rena felt her hot blood colored her delicate cheeks.

“Jurina, what the hell are you doing here!?” Rena demanded. Embarrassed to have been caught having one of her…

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[Machdi-san's Fanfic] Deranged (KojiYuu)

•April 12, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Everyone is crazy. They just don’t show it often. 


October 17, 2014

My identity isn’t important here. Even though I specifically start writing this ‘diary’ to write my thoughts and doings, I will not write my name, or anything that revolves around my true colors. But I want you to know that what I do for a living is nothing but a routine. A routine where people think is absurd, crazy. But for me, it’s normal.


But first, I want to thank you for your time. My sister told me you’re a nice person to talk to, so that’s why I write these secretly so one day, when I’ve gone completely insane, I want you to come and read the things I wrote down in this book.

I want to tell you what I do regularly day after day. I live in the city, possibly the place where anything can happen. I am working as a journalist, professionally writing down news and spreading them publicly for people to read. Even though people seemed to enjoy what I write, there are some who doesn’t.

There are times where I was harassed, threatened, robbed.

But it didn’t bother me. It never did.

But, I guess that’s the life of a journalist. You win some, you lose some. At least most of the public responded well with what I write. I even receive some decent payment as well.

During these times, there is always one person who finds herself taking care of me even though I don’t need to. Again, I’m not telling you her full name. But I call her Rena. We’re friends. Close friends if I might add. Sometimes she’s helpful, sometimes she’s stubborn, sometimes a bit bitchy. But that’s who she is.

We were eating ice cream near the streets when she asked me something.

“Have you ever thought of losing it?”

I was confused at this, so I asked, “I don’t get what you mean.”

“I meant, have you ever just try to let go all of your emotions, and do things that are beyond the boundary,” Rena explained. “It was a weird question, but I was just wondering if you ever felt like that once in your life.”

“I guess I have,” I said. “But I always keep it a secret, so no one would see what I really feel.”

She nodded, and then we ate in silence.

We never talked about it since then, and we planned to keep it that way. I don’t want to risk losing one important in my life just by telling her what I really do as a routine.

Then again, should I even tell you?

I don’t know. Maybe I should.

The clocks ticking, and my bed is calling for me to sleep. I guess I will write to you later. Don’t know when, though.

I’ll try my best to write to you as soon as I can.

Oh, and I think you already know what’s my name.

- Yuko


October 19th 2014

I know I promised to write to you as soon as possible, but work and a couple of assholes prevented me for doing so. Sorry about that.

But this entry’s a bit interesting, so it won’t be a waste of your time anyways.

I should start now.

It actually started yesterday, after buying a few things from the grocery store. Barely few people were walking at that time, so I was only accompanied by the cold wind and the light shuffles of my foot. The distance between my house and the grocery store was quite close, so it didn’t take long for me to be at least a few blocks away from my residence.

Then, a taxi pulled over a couple of meters in front of me.

I saw the side door opening, and someone with long brown hair wearing a cream-colored coat and dark denim jeans steps out of the vehicle, her expression a mixture of panic and frustration as she looks through her wallet hastily. She didn’t have any money to pay.

To be honest, I wasn’t really a good civilian. But if the time was right and the problem was exceptional, then I would help out someone in need. This was one of the times I do exactly that.

But first, let me tell you first that this girl whom I met was beautiful. I would be lying at any other time, but this time I’m telling the truth. She was beautiful. I couldn’t describe it into other words, because it’s hard to describe someone so mesmerizing like her. I know I shouldn’t be saying this, since people might think I’m weird, but this is me saying what I wanted to say, and I say that this girl was beautiful.

I paid the taxi driver, even when she said that I shouldn’t and I don’t want to bother her, I insisted. And then the car drove away.

“I really don’t know what to say. I can’t believe a stranger paid me for something so little. Thank you very much.” She smiled awkwardly yet gratefully, then bowed at me as a sign of gratitude.

“No, no. Don’t need to bow,” I laughed a little. “It was nothing, um… I’m sorry, but what’s your name?”

“Haruna. Kojima Haruna.” She told me her name.

“Well, Kojima-san, I was very glad that I helped you in the time of need. Truth to be told, I rarely do these kind of things to anyone, actually. So, you were lucky indeed.” I smiled warmly.

She giggled. “I guess I was lucky.”

I nodded. “You were.”

After some time, we go on our separate ways. But not before she gave me her number unless she and I wanted to chat, or simply to get to know each other more. In that moment, as I got home, I feel a sense of happiness in me. And so, that ends my so-called interesting story.

I know. It might be cliche, and overrated, but everyone has their share of stories in their lives where they coincidentally met a tall and beautiful stranger in the streets. Not only me.

I think I should end it here. The girl in my basement keeps screaming her lungs out of how someone, anyone could ‘save’ her from me. Noisy girl.

Her name is Yui, for your information. Apparently, I picked her up on the busy streets of downtown Tokyo. You can say she eagerly went into my car after I showed the money I planned to give it to her after our late night session.

Didn’t even know what she was expecting.

- Yuko


October 20th 2014


Yuko here, ummm

My hand’s covered in her blood, my shirt and pants are too

You should have seen her struggle, she kept crying, and screaming, and spitting words at me

I only shut her up when she starts to get too annoying

And luckily my baseball bat and hammer did the trick

I guess she didn’t see it coming

But who doesn’t like surprises?

- Yuko


October 22nd 2014


I hope you didn’t leave me after what happened a couple of days ago. But my sister told me that you’re a very patient and understanding person, and I would like to thank you for that. And you deserve an explanation.


I kill people. For my own needs.

What’s so sick about it is that I don’t have a certain to kill. I just do it, and I feel satisfied.

I know. I know this is scary and fucking unbelievable, but I’m trying to explain it to you without making you freak out. I guess I still did, and you suddenly realized that you’re reading the thoughts of a demented, crazed, psychopathic person.

I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.

Please don’t leave me, don’t tell this to anyone or to the whole world. I want myself to be hold as a secret.

This is who I am. This is who I really am inside.

And I’m scared.

I’m scared of losing myself. Everything I learn, everyone I know, will someday leave me alone in this world, and I don’t want that. I don’t want my sister to leave me, I don’t want Rena to leave me, I don’t want the nice old-man living in the same neighborhood to leave me. I don’t want anyone to leave me. Without them knowing, they’re the ones who kept me safe from myself. They’re the ones who kept me sane.

And when that day comes, I’ll lose Rena, and the old man, and probably Haruna as well.


I’m starting to cry again.

- Yuko


October 29th 2014

I’m really sorry about before. I was being emotional, and I couldn’t think straight, then I started cutting my wrist and I felt normal again. Like, back to myself.

I hope you didn’t leave as soon as I’m writing this.

I really hope not. Because, I actually have some good news.

Since the taxi incident, Haruna and I started to communicate one another. Whether if it’s through chat, or coincidental meet ups in random places, we’re still able to talk when it felt like we just met for only a few days.

Haruna’s a nice person. She’s great at handling a conversation, making sure it doesn’t go awkward and she tries her best at asking me questions that she think I found uncomfortable, though I was fine at anyone who asked me color of my underwear is.

Through the course of our relationship, I have gotten to open up myself a little bit more. What’s my age, where do I live, my hobbies and interest. I completely left out the part that killing people for my satisfaction is one of my hobbies. She would leave me immediately if I ever tell her about that.

I’m just hoping that this friendship of ours grows and grows throughout the days, and weeks, and months.

I really hope it does.

The other good news is, I have exclusively made an article for a popular magazine about a famous politician who’s name is known to people due to his constant scandals for carrying home numerous sex slaves and children, and sexually abuse them until one was reported dead in the man’s bathroom. Covered in scars, wearing nothing but a bra and short pants.

Sick stuff.

As sick as I am.

Recently, I have finally get to meet Rena’s long-distance girlfriend after I was invited by the person herself. Jurina was her name, and she seemed like a pretty nice girl.

Too nice in my taste, to be honest.

- Yuko


Novermber 12th 2014

I’m sorry for the lack of entries. A lot of things are happening actually, and I don’t know if I could tell you one by one.

But I know I can tell you one important thing.

I’m in love with her.

I’m in love with the person I met in the night on the streets, the person who I paid the taxi driver when she didn’t have any money at all, the person who I constantly see during my frequent visits to the regular cafe I go to during my abundant free time. I’m in love with her. I’m in love with Kojima Haruna.

I can’t describe this feeling inside me, but it’s slowly evolving into something more than plain adoration towards her.

It evolved into love. And, I don’t know what to do about it.

Do you ever feel like you’re just doing these things in your life because of how our society goes? In every human growth, he or she must learn new things around the environment, and then they are forced to go to school, starting from playgroup and ends with high school. After that period ends, you go to a university much to your parents’ liking, or your own. And then after graduation, you have to find a job that gives you a decent amount of money, and isn’t what you have hoped for. Then you have to find a house for you to live in, register your insurance, and the list goes on.

All of this has always been a burden in our lives, but you couldn’t find a way to escape.

When I’m around with her, it feels different. It’s like all the stress I have in my head quickly disappears, and all that’s left to do is thinking how much I adore her.

It’s much different when I kill. In only relieves the stress I have for a current amount of time, and then it goes back again. The immense thirst for people’s cries and screams, to see them beg me to stop what I’m doing, to feel the impact of their flesh on the heavy tool in my hand, to see the crimson-colored liquid oozing out of their wounds.

Fuck. Fuck, this is not what I want to do.

I just realized something.

Haruna, and the thirst to kill. These are two important things in my life.

And it looks like I have to pick either one of them.

Damn it, this is not what I want. This is not what I fucking want!

- Yuko


November 20th 2014

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know what the hell I’ve done.

I was out of my mind, and I didn’t know what I was thinking, and the moment I woke up and checked the basement underneath my house, I was greeted by the rotten smell of something dead.

It didn’t took me a while to found the lifeless body of the famous politician I made an article about once.

I don’t know what to do. Sooner or later, they’re going to search for him. The police, the news, everyone in the whole country will wonder where did the controversial man is now. Right now, every inch of fear I have inside is silently creeping out, and it’s slowly devouring me into insanity.

I didn’t know what to do then. The next thing I knew, I was staring at his dead body as it was burn the flames I had lighten up with gasoline.

And all I could do was cry.

Cry for how sick I am. Cry for how I was the one who killed the sin-tainted man. Cry for how everyone soon will find out by my real self. Cry for how I am a fucking monster.

Just… fuck.




November 23rd 2014


I… Fuck.

Just fucking… what the fuck did I even

Just forget it

Fucking forget it


November 30th 2014

I killed her.

I fucking killed her.

What the fuck…

What the fuck?!!


December 3rd 2014

We were having dinner in my apartment. It was a nice dinner. We had a fun time talking to each other as she constantly compliments my cooking, which she found delicious. I told her it wasn’t that good, then she said it’s as good as the ones in the cooking shows she watches. And then we laughed, continuing our usual conversation.

After washing the dishes, she looked around the apartment and came across a series of photos on the shelf near the television. Then, she started asking me who’s the girl in the picture.

“Oh, that’s my sister,” I told her. “Her name’s Mayu, and we were really close during our younger years. Because of our obsession for butts, our friends would call us Oshiri Sisters, which is really embarrassing since I’m actually telling you this.”

She laughed. “It’s really fine, Yuko. I’ve met more perverted people before you, so it’s normal for me.”

I nodded, before I finally caught on what she had said. “Wait, what?”

She smiled amusingly. “Nothing,” she looked at the pictures again before asking, “So, where’s Mayu now?”

“Oh, she shot herself in the head last year.”

Dead silence.

And then, the silence grew even more.

It was tensed, and awkward. I didn’t like it one bit. Neither did she, as she was looking at me with her eyes filled with regret and guilt.

“Oh God, I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. I… I didn’t even know…”

“No, it’s alright,” I gave her a bitter smile. “I’ve dealt with the pain already. I miss her, though. One day, she told me to never leave her, and the next day, she went away. Leaving me instead.”

I looked around my house.

“You know, this place holds many secrets. You probably don’t know how much time I spent with Mayu. She’s so dear to me, that I would do anything for her. I love her so much, it hurts to think that my little sister isn’t here anymore.”

I pulled up my sleeve, and showed her what I’ve done to myself. The amount of shock in her face was hard to describe, as she covered her mouth with both of her hands and her eyes widening when she sees the scars.

I smiled. “This is the pain. And when I do this to myself, it helped me through troubled times. It relieves the stress in my head, so I keep doing it until now. But that’s not all.”

I walked over to the set of golf clubs near the phone table.

“I realized that hurting myself doesn’t satisfy me enough. So, I kept thinking and thinking,” I started walking near her. “Until the thought of hurting others came to my mind.”

She looked at me with so much horror, the atmosphere suddenly tensed up and now, I’m staring at her with this sickening look in my eyes.

“I love you, Haruna,” I confessed. “And I wish that you will accept the real me.”

She started to panic as I walked even faster towards her, looking for any objects she could find around her. Then she looked at the front door, and thinking it was her only exit, she ran towards it. Before I quickly swung my golf club directly to her legs.

I looked at her, my face showing no emotions, as she lay on the floor in pain, trying to get up but the intense feeling on her legs was rejecting her for doing so. I could see the tears in her eyes, the heavy breaths as she crawled slowly towards the door which was out of her reach. I walked slowly behind her, golf club in hand while the other hand reaches out towards the old record player on the shelf next to me.

Once I hit the play button, classical starts to play through the speakers.

Without even thinking twice, I swung my golf club at her. And again. And again. And again.

End of story.


I don’t know what to do.

I don’t even know who I am anymore.


December 10th 2014


Why did you leave me?

Why did you have to take your own life?

I thought you wouldn’t leave me

Say something, Mayu



December 15th 2014

Why Mayu….

Why did you go….

I hate you….

I fucking hate you….


Get away from me



December 21st 2014

I’m sorry

i’m sorry you have to read all of this

don’t come and save me

i’m crazy

i’m crazy and i deserve to die

just leave me

just fucking leave me


December 23rd 2014

I’m alone in my room.

Rena come and try to help me…

She came too late. I already have a gun in my hand.

I have no choice. She was shouting, and begging to stop with tears streaming down her eyes.

Though, I was lifeless. I didn’t know what I was doing. So, I shot her.

Her body is laying next to me, fresh blood still pouring out of her forehead. That’s where I shot her at.

I just wanted to say thank you after these past two months, you were there to listen and read, and understand what I was going through. But a person like me deserve to die, and I should not be in this world anymore.

I’m hoping that I could get to meet my sister again.

I will, right?

I’m crazy. Everyone is. They just don’t show it often.

- Oshima Yuko

Continue reading ‘[Machdi-san's Fanfic] Deranged (KojiYuu)’

Strawberry Scented Girl

•April 9, 2014 • 2 Comments

Originally posted on Screechingsoul:


Unfortunately, she noticed me.

“Rena, is that you?” She asked.

I removed my nose from the book I was holding and altered my countenance. I wanted to say, ‘I haven’t been stealing glances of you for the last five minutes.’

“Hey Manatsu, how are you doing?”

She walked up to me and for the first time I noticed that we were of the same height.

“I’m fine.” She answered. Brushing her hair away from her face like she always did every time I spotted her at the university. And the heavenly scent of strawberries filled my nostrils.

I love strawberries. They’re so soft, delicious and juicy. It was hard to keep from salivating at the smell.

“And how are you?” She inquired.

I told her that I was doing okay, but I actually felt uncomfortable. Standing so close to the love of my life was pleasurable but also overwhelming. If…

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[Machdi-san's Fanfic] Obsession Kills: Affliction – Chapter 1 (WMatsui)

•April 8, 2014 • 1 Comment
This fic you’re about to read is a collaboration between me and a very talented writer, and we present you something that might be described as dark, demented and psychologically dangerous for those who is weak in this type of genre.Ladies and gentleman, we present you Affliction.

See, the human mind is kind of like a piñata. When it breaks open, there’s a lot of surprises inside. Once you get the piñata perspective, you see that losing your mind can be a peak experience. – Jane Wagner

Chapter 1
“Argh!” The young girl struggles in her chair, restraints binding her from moving and leather gloves tightly wrapped in her hands. She’s blindfolded, unable to see a thing, and no one else is in the room. Her only companion was the dark, a single light shining above her. On the other side of the room, there were people monitoring her activity, her brainwaves, trying to uncover the secrets she has been keeping.

“Let me go!”

The more she struggled, the more she screamed, everything around her seemed to change. The atmosphere has heavy and made it hard for her to breathe. The pressure was pushing against her body, making her feel tight and stiff. She could hear the voices whispering to her, seeing visions she didn’t want to look at. She tried to stop them, yelling at them, but it was no use.

In her last bit of energy, she screamed as loud as she could, her screams echoing off the walls. Then, the room started to shake. All of the equipment was going haywire, the light above her swinging wildly back and forth, and the windows shatter and break, a strong wind filling the room and circling the girl in a vacuum.

She didn’t stop, even as they yelled for her to calm down and quit. They ended up getting killed by something, but as of what, she didn’t know anymore. She just kept screaming.





“..Mm…” The girl woke up in a daze, hearing a high-pitched monotone beeping sound enter her ears. She slowly opened her eyes, closing them back a bit as she saw nothing but white. She covered her eyes with her arm and slowly looked around as her eyes adjusted.

A white ceiling with LED lights, the machines with tubes connected into her arm, the bouquet of lily flowers laid down on a dresser beside her bed. She wasn’t wearing her normal clothes anymore, and was now in a plain white gown. She looked outside and saw a beautiful view of Tokyo, the sun shining bright in the clear, cloudless, blue sky.

“Where… am I?”

Then, a sharp pain shocked her in the head, making a ringing sound go off in her ears. She clutched her head tight as a flood of memories entered her brain. Her eyes opened wide. Quickly, she checked herself to see if she was injured, but nothing. Not even a scar. She was perfectly fine.

“Was it a vision?” she thought to herself, still holding her head, even after the ringing and pain went away. “Or just a nightmare?”

She heard the door open and a young woman with long, raven black hair walked in.

“Matsui Jurina?” the doctor asked her as she fixed her labcoat and took out a clipboard and pen. Jurina could only study the actions of the nurse, a wave of uneasiness swept into her mind.

“Y-Yes…” Jurina answered after a few short seconds, feeling a slight tug of suspicion for the woman in front of her.

“I’m Kashiwagi Yuki. I’m a nurse here. I found you in an alley outside near an abandoned building and brought you here,” the doctor explained, a warm smile appeared on her lips before her expression turned to its original form. ”Did something happen to you, Jurina?”


The words left the young girl’s mouth, before a strong wave of nausea hit her hard. She groaned, clutching her head as instant flashes started to appear in her field of vision. Her breathing began to grow rapid, as she couldn’t stop the visions and voices inside, feeling herself drifting apart little by little.

“Are you okay, Matsui-san?”

“D-Dad… Drunk…”

Yuki was listening carefully to Jurina, watching her expression fill with fear as she hugged herself and shivered. She tried to write down what she was saying, but she couldn’t hear her shaky voice clearly. There was one word she did hear clearly, though.


Yuki’s hand fidgeted a bit as she wrote down that word.

“Is that all you can remember?”

A nod was received.

Yuki looked at the notes she took.

“Jurina’s father got drunk, forced some of his drunkard friends raped her, and then he was murdered that same night. Jurina had already blacked out when her father was killed, so the rape attempt did not succeed. The others were arrested, but Jurina doesn’t know how he was murdered.”

“I’m very sorry, Matsui-san…”

The elder girl hugged Jurina as she covered her face and started crying. Yuki couldn’t do anything else except comfort her. She just held her in her arms and rubbed her back as she sobbed softly into her chest. After a while, she heard Jurina’s voice die down and she became limp in her embrace. She broke the hug and saw Jurina staring at her with blank, lifeless eyes. They were so empty, pitch black, it felt like she was falling into another word.



Jurina blinked her eyes and they slowly returned to normal. Yuki was a bit confused about what just happened, but she didn’t have time to think as she saw on her watch, she was late. She quickly took her clipboard with the notes she wrote down about Jurina and was about to leave, when…

“Yuki-san…” she heard her voice and saw Jurina staring at her strangely. “Are you really going to take me to an asylum?”


“Yuma-kun told you I needed to be sent to a mental hospital. Are you really going to do it?”

Yuki was shocked. She just met Jurina, and yet she seems to immediately know who Yuma is. Did she come to this hospital before and meet Yuma? No, that couldn’t have been true, she thought. She has been working in the hospital longer than Yuma, and he was younger than her. Being a genius, she knew Yuma had skipped a few grades into entering high school early and passed medical school with flying colors. Neither she or Yuma have ever seen her before. So, how does she know?


“Ah, nothing… I’ll come check up on you later.”

Yuki left the room, leaning back to the wall as she shut the door behind her.

“What was that about?”

She held her head and tried to think as she went to her and Yuma’s office. Yuma was already in there, waiting for her. She still couldn’t believe Jurina said such a thing about him.

“Yukirin. Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked worriedly. “You look a bit pale.”

“I’m fine, um, Yuma… Guess I’m just tired.”

“You really need to take a rest next time, Yukirin.” Yuma said as he ushered Yukirin to take a seat on one of the chairs in the room. “So did you get the notes from the patient?”

“Yes. Matsui Jurina-san. Let’s take a look at these.” Yuki took the notes from her clipboard and the two started reading through Jurina’s files.

It seemed normal at first. Only child, mother and father were divorce, and of course, the fact that her dad was always drinking and hurting Jurina to the point of an attempt rape, ending in his murder. But then, they saw something strange in the files. A pink slip that came from a past appointment with a psychiatrist.

“Frequent nightmares. Must be kept under watch at all times. Highly emotional. Very destructive results.”

“Destructive? What the hell…”

Then, they saw another paper slip, this one yellow, from a police file.

“Acts of violence and abuse from father. House damage. Reports of strange activity from neighbors; most involved Jurina.”

“What’s with all of this?” Yuki whispered, shocked.

“Don’t know. These files couldn’t be wrong, all of the notes were taken from the police themselves,” Yuma paused. “Yukirin, do you think she’s some sort of criminal?”

“What?” Yukirin was surprised by the sudden conclusion. “Why would you ask that?”

“Because…” Yuma reached into her drawers and pulled out a TV remote. He turned on the TV in her room and the news came on.

“The man was found outside an alley way, and eyewitness reports say he and some of his friends were with a young girl. Reports say that a few guns from the men were found on their bodies, but a knife was found wrapped in a towel in the trash. DNA test showed that the fingerprints belonged to the young girl who was found unconscious at the site, Matsui Jurina.”

“What in the…” Yukirin stared in disbelief as she listens to the news more.

“Police authorities are currently looking for Matsui-san, as she had gone missing this morning and traces of her have not been found. More news as this case develops…”

Yuma looked at her nurse, seeing her wide eyed and shocked expression.

“Is this really… No, it can’t be true…?”

“Yukirin, we should really do something about this girl.”

“W-wait, I just talked to her. She said she was unconscious when her dad was murdered, so she couldn’t have done it. Whoever did this framed her.”


Yuki sighed and sat down, looking at her notes again. Then, she looked at one of the forms and saw something very strange written down.

“Unexplained paranormal activity coming from the Matsui residence. Matsui daughter a possible esper?”


Yuma looked and then reached into his previous files. He pulled out several newspaper templates that read about the same thing.

“Poltergeist activity in the Matsui home.”

“Daughter of Matsui possesses psychic ability?”

“Middle school girl accused of school property damage caused by indoor cyclone.”

“What the hell..?”

Yuki was looking at all these in front of her, and still couldn’t believe any of it. The fact that Jurina might have psychic powers seemed impossible and ridiculous, but considering that Jurina knew who Yuma was before even meeting her seemed to make it more plausible.

“What do you think we should do?” Yukirin wondered.

“Well, we can’t just leave her. She needs someone to help her if her family won’t.” Yuma said as a matter-of-factly.

Yuki crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair, rubbing her forehead as she tried to come up with something. Yuma sat against the table before saying, “I think we need to send her to a mental hospital.”

Her heart skipped a beat.
That’s exactly what Jurina said Yuma was going to say.

“Yuma-kun told you I needed to be sent to a mental hospital.”

“How did she know?” That was the only thought in Yuki’s mind, and it echoed in an abyss of confusion that made her feel dizzy and frustrated.


“I can’t believe this. Why would even think like that?”

“Well, if these are true, about her having psychic ability and the possibility of her being the cause of her own father’s death, sending her somewhere to help control them is the only choice. Right? We wouldn’t risk helping someone as dark as a killer, that would be suicide and you know it.”

Yuki rested her head on both her hands and sighed. She felt like doing this was wrong, especially since Jurina seemed to know about it, and if she didn’t like it, there was nothing else she could do for her. But seeing all the reports, files, and pictures of her in black and white ink, it seemed too real.

“Yukirin. What should we do?”

Yuki bit her lip before standing up and taking the files, hiding them in her drawer. She took another look at her clipboard, reading Jurina’s profile and sighed.

“I guess we have no choice…”


Yuki watched Jurina as she watched TV in her hospital room. She had just finished lunch and her checkup with Yuma, so that gave her plenty of time for the arrangements to send Jurina away. She slowly opened the door.


Jurina turned to her head towards the sound of the voice. “Yes?”

She slowly came in, shutting the door and trying to smile.

“Jurina-san… I talked to Yuma and we’ve decided to transfer you to a local mental facility in Tokyo. It’s not that anything’s wrong with you. We just–”

“It’s okay…”

“Eh?” She looked at the young girl, who gave her a sad smile.

“I understand. Besides… I’ll be okay. I deserve to go to a place like that.”


“I wanna leave as soon as possible. And… if it means I don’t have to hurt anyone anymore, I’m totally okay with it.”

Yuki’s mind was running with lots of questions. Just who was this girl? The things she was saying, what she had heard about her, everything seemed impossible and crazy. But Jurina was acting so calm with it… It was like she wanted to be sent to a mental facility.

“When am I leaving?”

“Th-three days…”


Three days later…

Jurina was packing the rest of her things in a small suitcase for her to carry, looking around her empty room that used to be her home and torture chamber. Her father was gone, and she knew no one else in her family would want or miss her after this. Everything in her room was packed and in a white van where Yuki was waiting outside to take her to her new home. Here, she knew she would be accepted, because she would finally be normal. Exactly the same as everyone. Well, that’s what she hoped.

Sighing, she zipped up her bag and pulled out the handle so she wouldn’t have to carry it over her shoulder. She left her home, locking it up tight, and sat in the back seat of the clean van. The two girls just sat quietly, not saying a word to each other, as Yuki drove down the road until they finally arrived at their destination.

“This is as far as I can take you. I gotta go back to work,” said Yuki. “Good luck.”

“Yea…” Jurina grabbed her bag as some men wearing white suits came and took her other bags. Then before leaving, she turned back to Yuki and said, “Also… you should probably keep an eye on Yuma. I don’t think he should work late tomorrow night.”


“Bye.” Jurina left, not saying another word to the raven girl.

Yuki felt a bit relieved she wouldn’t have to carry a burden like her anymore, but she had this deep drop in her heart when she heard those words.


Yuki didn’t want to think about it and started driving back to the hospital.

Jurina entered the mental facility, looking around at the nearly empty lobby. She went up to the front desk to see if someone was there, then a tall woman came up to her, tapping her shoulder.

“You must be Jurina-chan. I’m Mariko. I’ll be looking after you from now on, kay?”

“Uh-huh…” Jurina stood there, staring at the doctor in awe. She looked like a model in a labcoat, and her aura seemed a bit more powerful than any other doctor she’s seen.

“I’ll take you to your room. Follow me.”

Jurina silently followed Mariko as she was lead down a few halls to her room. She looked around to see some of the other patients, and as she expected, they did have some trouble doing normal things. They stopped at a door numbered “208”.

“This will be your room from now on. There’s another patient already occupying this room, so I hope you two can get along.”

Jurina just nodded.

“Something wrong?” Mariko knelt down so she was at Jurina’s height.

“No… I’m okay…”

The elder girl patted her head. “I heard about what happened to your dad. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Jurina gritted her teeth silently. She wasn’t sad about her father’s death.

Mariko knocked the door. “Rena?”

No answer.

“Rena, are you there?”

Jurina stood there, watching the woman’s expression become anxious and worried. She knocked a few more times, louder.


Still no answer. Mariko quickly opened the door and saw Rena was perfectly alright, reading a manga with her headphones on.

“Oh, thank God…” she sighed, relieved.

Jurina didn’t quite understand what was going on. Rena looked completely normal, a teenage girl with long black hair, but she did look a bit pale and incredibly slim. And, looking around her room, she saw manga, makeup and magazines, and also dolls and plastic tea sets. It was like a teenager’s room mixed with a kid’s room, and there was even a variety of CDs ranging from rock and pop music to children’s music.

Honestly, unless this girl had a brain disorder that made her act like she had the mind of a toddler, she thought there was supposed to be a little girl in this room, too, because that’s what it seemed like.

“This is Matsui Rena. She’ll be your roommate from now on. Rena, meet Jurina.”

Rena looked at Jurina with empty black eyes. She slowly reached her hand out to shake her hand, but Rena slowly shrunk away, like she was scared. Jurina thought she must’ve been shy, so she smiled at the girl and held her hand.

An electric shock ran through her body and time seemed to stop a few seconds. She looked at the hand she was still holding and felt something in her head switch on. She could hear what Rena was thinking, but not only that. There seemed to be more than one voice in her head. An image flashed in front of her eyes of Rena and three other figures.

“Rena-san… do you have any younger sisters?”

Rena’s heart pulsed rapidly when she said that. She quickly pulled back from the younger girl and up against the wall, covering her mouth as she breathed in and out, quick and sharp breaths.

Jurina looked down, realizing she did the wrong thing. “Sorry…”

“It’ll be okay. Just give her some time to calm down. I’ll come back later to check up on you two.”

After Mariko left, Jurina just started unpacking her things and placed them in the closet and drawers. Then she sat quietly on her bed while Rena was still curled up in a ball, not saying a word or even glancing over at Jurina. She just hugged her knees and breathed deeply.

Jurina looked at the shy girl and slowly leaned forward. “Rena, right? Uh, Rena-san… You’re last name is Matsui, huh? So is mine. I wonder if we’re related somehow. Mm, but really, Matsui is a pretty common name…”

No response from the silent girl. Jurina thought maybe she was mute.

“Hey…” She didn’t know what exactly to talk about since she just met the girl, so she said the first thing that came to her mind. “Why are you here?”

Rena’s pulsating heart skipped a beat, pounding so loud, she thought Jurina could hear it.

“….I… don’t wanna talk about it….” she said in a small voice.


Jurina started reading her novel as Rena sat down in her bed with her headphones in. She wondered what Rena was listening to, so she got closer and saw the name “LoVendoЯ” on the CD cover.

“Can I listen?”


She put one earbud in and listened to the music play. It was a rock song, but the lyrics were sad and full with meaning. What a perfect song. Rena said it was called “Bukiyo”.

“Do you like this?”

“Well…. k-kinda…”


“It’s hard to explain… but this song specifically… it really means a lot to me.”

Jurina smiled. “I can tell…”

She then decided it was best to give Rena some privacy for now, so she went back to her bed and started reading again. After about an hour, it was already time for checkups and both of them did perfectly okay. Well, as far as they knew. Neither of them talked about what had happened, so they each assumed one of them did better than the other. It was time for bed now, but after Jurina changed into her pajamas and was ready to go to sleep, Mariko came back in.


“Rena, it’s time to take your medicine,” Mariko said with a small smile, walking inside the room towards the pale girl’s bed.


Jurina watched as Mariko sat down beside Rena and slowly injected something into her arm. Mariko said it was a special medicine that Rena had to take, once in the morning and once before bed. When Jurina asked why, Mariko just said she’d tell her later. The two tucked themselves into bed and laid silently in the quiet room. Jurina laid there for a few minutes. She told Rena goodnight, but got no response, so she thought she was tired and went to bed.

She stared at her, but not in a creepy stalker kinda way. Like a mother would do to her child. Rena was beautiful in Jurina’s eyes, awake or asleep. Something about her was special, and probably why she was here, but she saw that small light of hope in her eyes that showed Rena was strong and had been surviving something for a long time.

Eventually, Jurina fell asleep and drifted off into her dream world. She was in a field of daisies in the summer, and she was with Rena, wearing the most beautiful dress and a hat with a few daisies in it. The wind was nice and cool from the sun’s heat and it felt so perfect in that world. In this place, Jurina could finally see Rena’s smile, a smile which she hoped the real Rena would make soon.


“Come here, sweetheart…”

No. Please don’t come near me.

“Don’t be shy. We won’t bite. Not as hard as we usually do.”

No. I’m begging you, stop.

“Hold her. And don’t let her go, I don’t want to see her squirm even the slightest.”


“Come here, dear.”

No. Stop.

“We’ll do you as soft as possible. But then again… No promises.”


“Alright, now. Let’s take off her clothes.”


A scream was heard throughout the building.

There was cold sweat forming on her forehead and everything was still dizzy around her, her head pulsating.

She slowed her breath more and finally calmed down from the shock. When she looked over, she saw Rena sitting up from her bed, her head hung low.

“Rena-san… I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

When Rena looked at her, something was different. Jurina sensed something changed in her eyes. They blinked a few times, they were black and almost larger than before. Or something like that. All she knew was she felt something strange about Rena looking at her.

“Rena-san, is something wrong?”

“Rena-san…?” Her voice had changed. It sounded like a child’s voice.


Rena tilted her head a bit, looking at her before saying.

“Who are you?”

It was Jurina’s time to be confused.

“Wait, what?”

[Sayuki's Fanfic] Bitter Dream

•April 4, 2014 • Leave a Comment

A/n. Saku-chan here~ so um, this time I am posting on behalf of Sayuki and I just wanna say that this piece of work is one of the best MaYuki one shots that I have ever read in this short 24.5 year life of mine… It’s all I can really say because no words can describe this fic’s awesomeness… I am dropping this here (a bit too late but i was busy…) and guys, you must read this, MUST!!


WARNING. Contains smut and content which could be too much for very sensitive readers.

Continue reading ‘[Sayuki's Fanfic] Bitter Dream’

[Sleepingneko Fanfic] Of Lions and Badgers and Ravens and Snakes Chapter 1

•April 1, 2014 • 1 Comment

A/N : Hello everyone, I wonder if by now you’ve guessed how horrible I am with naming fics. I also wonder if any of you have already figured out that this is a Harry Potter AU….well now you know. This is just a series of stories of various idols in the 48 group if they were in a Harry Potter setting. I have to warn you, it won’t be in chronological order, as the story focuses on many of them. Like a kinda…peek into what their lives are like. I hope you get what I’m trying to say lol. So without further ado, here’s the first chapter.


“That’s the wrong charm for that situation Churi.”

Several scratching noises followed. A student diligently searching through the textbook before writing in her new answer. Seeing her friend nod, she let a self-satisfied grin grace her features and continued with her work. It wasn’t long before the quiet cosiness of the Hufflepuff common room was disrupted.

“You spelled that wrong.” Her friend pointed at a question Akane was sure she had gotten right. She frowned as she checked her work.

“No it’s not. That’s definitely the spell.”

Continue reading ‘[Sleepingneko Fanfic] Of Lions and Badgers and Ravens and Snakes Chapter 1′

[Atsuko_love's Fanfic] Management Affairs – Chapter 5

•March 20, 2014 • 3 Comments

Chapter 5

As Rena’s finger reached for the hotel room bell, she retracted her hand. “Somehow I feel a little guilty selling Atsuko out like this..”

“You don’t say.. You think you’re the only one who feels this way? Maybe we should just forget about the money..” Mayu pulled Rena back a little.

“Yea.. Somehow I felt like changing my mind.. It’s really unfair for her..”


Minami pressed the bell while they were still busy discussing. All they could do is blink their eyes at Minami’s action. It was already too late to stop her. Minami was smart enough to hide herself at the side after she pressed on the bell. Atsuko who heard the hotel room bell buzz, took a peek at the peephole. All she could see was Mayu and Rena standing outside her room. So, without thinking, she opened the door. As soon as Atsuko opened the door, Minami popped out from the side, shocking her.
Continue reading ‘[Atsuko_love's Fanfic] Management Affairs – Chapter 5′


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